Many Millennials and Gen Xers are part of a new cohort: “the sandwich generation.” Due to a series of societal shifts, approximately 2.5 million U.S. adults find themselves sandwiched between taking care of their children and taking care of their aging parents. That’s almost a quarter of all adults who are currently caregivers to a parent aged 65 and older.
As challenging as sandwich caregiving can be, deciding that you need help can be even more difficult. Don’t ignore these signs that it might be time to explore solutions that could lighten your load and help you care for your loved ones more effectively.
1. Excess Stress
Unsurprisingly, sandwich caregivers report higher levels of financial and emotional stress than peers who are only caring for an aging parent. Many say that they are struggling to live comfortably and cover their basic expenses. Depression and anxiety are also common side effects of trying to stretch support across multiple generations.
Talking to other caregivers or joining a support group can help you keep your problems in perspective and learn from other folks who are facing similar challenges. You might also meet with a Licensed Financial Planner to review your overall financial plan and discuss ways to budget for your dual caregiving responsibilities.
2. Major Time Crunch
Dedicated caregivers often display a seemingly infinite amount of love and compassion. But time is finite. And no matter how well you manage yours, there will be days when caregiving, work, and basic household management are impossible to juggle.
If you’re willing to ask friends and family for help, you might be able to restore some order to your schedule.
And if you’re not willing to ask for help, it might be time to think about why that’s the case.
Are you avoiding a family grudge? Going solo will only build up your frustrations.
Are you worried you’re the only one who can maintain multiple schedules and take care of essential tasks, like calling Medicare and getting the kids to their extracurriculars? As hard as it can be to let go, learning to trust folks who are willing to help and delegate could be a lifesaver — especially if that helper is your spouse.
Or are you taking care of everything because that’s just what you’ve always done?
What’s worked before might not be the best way to get everything done anymore. And if you don’t reserve some down time for yourself, you’re going to be in a worse position to check everything off your to-do list.
It might be necessary to call a family meeting to establish some clarity around what’s going on, what needs to be done, and who can help you with what. Say “Yes” to whatever help is offered. And be open to alternate paths towards securing the care that your loved one needs, even if it’s not necessarily your first option.
3. You’ve Done All You Can
Some aspects of sandwich caregiving might eventually stretch you beyond your capabilities. A child struggling with school might need more help than you can provide after dinner. A parent with a debilitating condition might need around-the-clock supervision or medical care. A bigger time crunch might make it impossible for you to give your best to everyone, advance in your career, and take care of your own wellbeing.
Calling in professional help – whether that means tutors for your children or assisted living for your aging parents – is often a last resort because of the costs. But with proper financial planning, these investments might also be the most cost-effective solutions. Schedule a meeting and let’s discuss how our Life-Centered Planning process might be able to lessen some of the squeeze you’re feeling.
